Emerging Thin

2009-03-28T10:04:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the long absence, I decided to go visit my brother and his family for a few days. I was not good while there..........

2009-03-18T11:24:00.001-06:00

This week's weigh in is not going to be a good one. I've been eating way too much junk and not tracking. I seem to do this everytime I lose 10lbs, fall off the wagon and gorge. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum, but we'll see what the scale says.

2009-03-15T12:42:00.003-06:00

Down 1.8 lbs this week, this loss earned me a 10lb star to stick to my booklet. I know I could have lost more but I got lazy and didn't track my food at all. When I don't track I tend to under eat and get paranoid about every little thing I'm putting in my mouth.

Goals this week:

track EVERYTHING (gonna be hard because my Bday is this week)
start exercising
stop weighing myself twice a day

2009-03-11T21:53:00.012-06:00

Here is what 259lbs looks like on me. I hate this, it looks like I have a pair of tits growing out of my back. I seldom allow photos, so there are no good ones of me out there, only the taken on the sly. The photo on my profile was taken June 2007, I was only 15lbs smaller but had some really good undergarments. It's amazing what a $300 corset can do for your shape. I will retake these photos in this outfit every 20lbs from now. Sorry for such a short post, I just have an overwhelming feeling to jump on my elliptical and to go pump some iron.
Later.

Stumble

2009-03-08T11:47:00.004-06:00

Friday's weigh in was awesome, down another 3.4lbs for a total of 9.6lbs, so close to ten. The meeting was good, I really like this new leader, she's fun and has a ton of energy.

I usually make Friday my high point day, after weigh in and meeting I meet a friend for lunch. We always go to the same Vietnamese place and have beef satay soup. I do my weekly grocery shop after this, come home and make homemade pizza (extremely thin crust, lots of veggies and sauce, little bit of cheese). Dessert is 2 chocolate wafers with 2Tbsp of frozen light cool whip sandwiched in between. None of these are very high in points, but I feel as if I've indulged all day especially the soup, I love it. Super spicy and so decadent. I don't eat before weighing in, so I estimate the whole day is around 30 - 35 points.

This week was different, Friday I ate way too much pizza and went to bed uncomfortably full. Part of this was from being extremely constipated (sorry), and part because it was so damn good. I usually throw any leftovers out but my husband said he would have them for lunch the next day. Saturday I got up and was still feeling like crap, I opened the fridge and all sanity and reason fled. I ate over the course of the day:

four pieces of leftover pizza
1.5 cups of leftover bouillabaisse
1 mini apple pie that my friend had made for my husband
2 full fat granola bars
and apple
some brazil nuts
a handful of dill pickle chips with cottage cheese
oil popped and butter drenched popcorn
a cool whip 'sandwich'

Then, as if the above wasn't enough I ordered chinese and got through:

1 green onion cake
1 cup of steamed white rice
1/2 of an order of ginger beef
4 pork dumplings
a small bottle of coke zero

It was a regular pig fest at my house yesterday. Through the whole thing I didn't feel right, nor did anything but the bouillabaisse taste right. I was still constipated and so full I felt like vomiting. I will never do it again, I still have a food hangover, I feel like shit. At least I finally was able to go to the bathroom.

Still Here

2009-03-03T19:26:00.005-07:00

I'm still here, still loosing, just haven't had time to post.

Friday's weigh in was great - down 3.6lbs. I missed the meeting, but was there in time to collect my 5lb star. While there I bought a digital scale and wow, I am totally in love with this thing. It takes all the guess work out of calculating points and comes pre programmed with hundreds of foods. I find that something I would have calculated at 2 or 3 points is actually 4 or 5, so it helps keep me OP.

I snuck a peek at the scale this morning 257.8, of course it is first thing after I wake up and pee. No pesky clothes to add weight, plus I tend to weigh heavier as the day goes on.

Still haven't taken starting photos, must do that soon.

Hopefully I'll have time for a longer post tomorrow.

262

2009-02-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

Saw 262lbs on the scale this morning. Update and photos tonight.

266.2

2009-02-20T21:49:00.002-07:00

Not as much as I had hoped for, but probably just what I earned. Lost 2.8lbs this week, yay me. I did not stick to plan 100%, I had a binge on Wednesday so I'll take the loss and be grateful for it.

I'll update with starting pictures this weekend.

Dinner With The In Laws

2009-02-15T22:01:00.002-07:00

We went to husband's parents for dinner tonight. My MIL is an awesome lady, I've often told my husband that I wish I could've been his sister just so that I would have had the great childhood he did.

As wonderful as my MIL is, she is not that great of a cook (I'm a horrible food snob). Thankfully we got there early, so under the pretense of 'helping out' I ended up making most of the dinner. One thing I didn't make were the carrots - she puts this horrible orange ginger glaze on them, my hubby thought I had done them and spooned some extra glaze over his, he had a hard time gagging them down. It was a very enjoyable evening, I managed to say no to dessert and stay totally OP with a few left over for a snack.

What I Ate:

1 whole wheat english muffin (3)
1 large egg poached (2)
1 cup fruit salad (1)
2 cups coffee with light cream (2)

1.5 cups tomato bisque (3)

60z lean steak (10)
3/4 cup mashed potato (3)
1 cup green salad with homemade mustard dressing (1)

1 pc chocolate (2)
1 cup coffee (1)

1 whole wheat pita (1)
salsa
1 cup cauliflower (0)

Total Points Used: 29

Day One

2009-02-14T23:13:00.001-07:00

Good day today, stayed OP and had no hunger or cravings. I made sure to stock the pantry and fridge with good options. I made homemade salsa, roasted tomato bisque, grilled a ton of chicken breast, cut up all my veggies, made a spectacular fruit salad (orange segments, kiwi, cherries, grapes, blackberries and strawberries in fresh lime), made veg soup, baked off some pita chips to go with the salsa, and boiled a few eggs. There is no excuse for eating crap this week.

Today I Ate:

1 whole wheat english muffin (3)
1 cup fruit salad (1)
2 tbsp peanut butter (4)
2 cups coffee with light cream (4)

1.5 cups tomato bisque (3)
1/2 pita sand with bbq chicken breast, mushrooms and onions (5)
1 cup cucumber

5 oz chicken thigh in mushroom sage sauce (6)
1 portion homemade polenta (3)
1 cup green salad with spray dressing (1)

1 whole wheat pita (1)
salsa (0)
1 cup low fat milk (2)

total points used: 33

Very low key VDAY, hubby spent entire night on computer while I was busy in the kitchen.

Friday Weigh In

2009-02-13T15:15:00.001-07:00

Went to my first Weight Watchers meeting today, and to ensure that I continue with the plan I purchased 8 weeks of weigh ins.

Stepped up to the scale and I've officially gained back the few pounds I lost trying to go it on my own with Atkins. Yes I am back at 269 and not feeling fine about it. I don't know yet what my official weight goal is, I'm going to have to think about this, I've always been overweight, I don't know what a normal number will be for me. So, I'm starting with mini goals, I'm an impatient person who gives up because dropping 100+ lbs seems so fucking far away.

The meeting was fine, just as I remembered them, lots of clapping and discussion. The leader was a tad flaky, but she was a sub, the regular one is said to be alot of fun. Normally what kills WW for me are the meetings, I've always viewed them as a bunch of women sitting around trying to come up with low point cheats, how much chemical shit they can cram into a single point. This time I will attend each meeting with an open mind, and take from it what is good and right for me.

With a 32 point daily allowance, I should be fine.

Fresh Start

2009-02-12T22:12:00.004-07:00

The Atkins plan, I discovered, is so not the plan for me. In the past couple of months I've started Atkins no less than 3 times. Everything goes well for about a week, I keep completely on plan then BAM I start binging. I end up eating things I normally wouldn't when not dieting -ie: white bread, cereal, crackers and any type of sugar I can get my chubby little hands on. This totally negates any loss I might have had.

So after much contemplation and reading of other blogs I'm joining Weight Watchers tomorrow. This won't be the first time, but hopefully the last.

262.8

2009-02-07T14:15:00.001-07:00

Can't believe this - I'm down 7lbs in 5days

Start 269.8 lbs

2009-02-02T15:21:00.004-07:00

I'm taking the plunge and going to try this whole blogging thing. I don't know if anyone out there will ever read this, but I hope that writing down my abusive past, mediocre present, and hopefully healthier and happier future I can finally exercise some of the demons that have followed me from childhood.

I will emerge from this journey thinner in body, and larger in life.